Darkness jokes
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I'm evilest-evil man.
"Yes, you are," scared guy.
No, me, it me: Evil super evil boy!
I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!