Darkness jokes
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.
I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."