Dark Humor
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?
Because he couldn't breathe.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
The F in orphan stands for family.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.