Dark Humor

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

Why can't emos have ADD?

'Cause they are already scatter-brained.

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

School shooting: Happens.

Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.

American Student: "First time?"

What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?

A bath bomb.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"

Because he would have beef with Homelander.

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

How to get into politics?

Fail art school.

What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.

What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.

Me, calls the police*

Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?

A: Lim Ping.

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.

Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?

A: A tater tot.

Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.

Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?

A. She had to go to GasTown.