Dark Humor
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
dark humor lightens my mood (or not…)
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh