Danger jokes
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.
Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
Everyone, just as a warning, stay AWAY from Akeld!
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD