Danger jokes
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
Everyone, just as a warning, stay AWAY from Akeld!
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.
ElectroBOOM is a SHOCKING YouTuber! (I can't believe he is still alive!)
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.