Cut jokes
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
I wish I had emo nails,
So they could cut themselves.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.