Cut jokes

How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.

I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.

Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?

He made the cut.

When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!

What do 2 emo kids say to each other?

"I like ya cut, G."

*Slaps wrist*

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

How can you save a depressed person from a tree?

You cut the rope.

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.

Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...

When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.

Why do emos cut themselves?

To play noughts and crosses.

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.

Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.