Cut jokes
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"
"It's a girl."
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.