Cut jokes
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Did Jesus cut his nails?
No! His nails cut through him.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
Memes
tru tho
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
What do you call emo girls?
Cutting boards.
What do Emos say to each other?
"I like your cuts, G."
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.
Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.