Cut jokes

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”

He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”

He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”

“No, this is the rink manager!”

Did Jesus cut his nails?

No! His nails cut through him.

I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.

Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?

Because they're always cutting.

Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.

I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.

What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.

Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?

A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲

Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️

Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.

What do Emos say to each other?

"I like your cuts, G."

If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.

How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.