Crime

Crime jokes

Bill Cosby

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

Rape

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.

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  • Cup

    What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.

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  • Memes

    Kidnapping

    A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”

    Man

    There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.

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  • Rape

    It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

    Pedophile

    Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

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  • Rape

    I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

    Cellar

    What does a kid and wine have in common?

    Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.

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  • Rape

    Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.

    Pedophile

    Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!

    Pedophile

    A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."