Crime jokes

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?

So that they can be wanted.

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...

Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”

Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

Why did the police go to a baseball game?

Because a player stole the base.

What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.

Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?

A: He rapes D minor.

There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

It's only rape.

If she finds out.

How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.

What’s the difference between jail and my basement?

Some people are let out of jail.

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.

No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.

How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!