Crime jokes
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
Memes
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!