Crime jokes
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
Memes
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
What is a pedophile's favorite piano note?
A Minor.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.