Crime jokes
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.