Crime jokes
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Memes
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.