Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
I donโt like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? ๐๐ญ
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
Hardest part about being a paedophile?
Fitting in.
