Crime jokes
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
What is a pedophile's favorite piano note?
A Minor.
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]