Crime jokes
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
What is a pedophile's favorite piano note?
A Minor.
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.