Crime jokes
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
The doctor gave me 6 months to live.
So I shot him.
Judge gave me 20 years.
Problem solved.
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!
Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
I AGREE WITH EDP.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...