So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
