Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
