What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
At night I became a mattress murderer
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail and the news said there a small medium at large.
What do you call a otter video game that is about robbing?- Grand Theft Otter!
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms? Because he told the man to put his hands up
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
