Crime jokes
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
Why are Indians such good actors?
Most of them are phone scammers.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.