Crime jokes
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
Why are Indians such good actors?
Most of them are phone scammers.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.