Crime jokes
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Miksi Michael lähti limusiinistä ulos?
Hän näki alastoman pojan.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
Violence against women is funny :)
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
How did the gay girl die? Homicide.
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.