What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
Q. What do You call a gun that rapes someone? A. An assault rifle
Mary's mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A: M
Holmes said, look up Watson what can you see?
Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A:M
What else Watson
It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow
What Else Watson
What am I supposed to see Holmes?
Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent
A panda walks into a bar, he asked the bar tender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him the leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “it’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named brandon
so you wanna play like that ayy, well sydney dident wanna play like that either. and thats why you got arrested
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
A woman ran into a police station screeming "help i have bin graped" the policeman said "do you mean raped" the woman said "no the was a bunch of then".
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime? They were always using pyramid schemes!!
Shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store. He was asked to give an EGGsplanation.
One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said "I dont know it all happed to fast"!
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
