Crime jokes
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.