Crime jokes
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
Bill Cosplay
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Mosely in a white van.
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.