Crime jokes
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Mosely in a white van.
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.