Crime jokes
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
Greg fucking steals toes!
Greg is a pedo.
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.