Crime jokes
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
"Prince, be honest, do you still love me?"
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
What's orphans favorite game to play?
GTA5 because they want to be wanted!
What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?
White Vans!
Me: I just shot an orphan.
Mate: You can’t do that!
Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
Hit'em with the Ted Bundy.
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.