Crime jokes
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
"Prince, be honest, do you still love me?"
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
What's orphans favorite game to play?
GTA5 because they want to be wanted!
What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?
White Vans!
Me: I just shot an orphan.
Mate: You can’t do that!
Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?