Crash jokes

It's been an hour since I crashed the tower.

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...

A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"

"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"

They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"

"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"

Oliver Tree just died in a helicopter crash?

He doesn't have to worry about that because, according to him, life goes onionionionionionionionionionion.

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.

I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'

Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Why did the child drop their ice cream?

They got hit by a bus.

What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?

Two large planes.

I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.

Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.

What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

"Can we do 69?"

"How about 9/11 because we're going to crash tonight?"

Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.