Crash jokes
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Women were flying the plane.
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...