Cops jokes
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?
The cops had to comb through the area.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
Damn, that joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
George Floyd in a nutshell.
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.
They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Why do kids want to become cops? They want to find the guy who touched them.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!