Cops jokes
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.
The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."