Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
your hairline is so bad the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily I already fled the country.
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
a cop pulled me over and shouted papers. i shouted scissors and drove off.
One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said "I dont know it all happed to fast"!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Friend:How dark is your humor? Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis
