Cops jokes
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
There are three Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
The cop!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.