Cops jokes
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding. He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?" "I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied. The cop said, "But there is no traffic." And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.
Friend: How dark IS your humor?
Me: It started an organization against cops.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What's another nickname for a flat emo?
A copping boars.
Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”