Conversation jokes

"How would you describe yourself in three words?"

"Lazy!"

"Just say no to drugs!"

Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.

What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."

I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.

What did the bus driver say to the car?

"What is your address?"

Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.

What did the rope say to me?

"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"

The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.

Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"

Dad: "Ask your sister."

Girl: "I don't have a..."

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”

"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."

One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).

My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

"Africa," the parrot replied.

Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?

Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.

Person: Where do I commit suicide?

Dog: Roof.

Person: Good idea.

A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.

One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.