Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."