Conversation jokes
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What does one emo kid say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?
Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
"Stop it," said he.
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
I'mma cashew outside!
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
Hey, talk to me here!
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."