Conversation jokes

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A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

B: Thank you.

A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!

If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."

The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"

The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."

The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"

She says, "Vinegar and water."

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

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    • A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.

    🧀: C’mon tomato!

    🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

    🧀: You’re a mile away.

    🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

    Me and my brother talking about relationships.

    Me: We live kind of differently.

    Brother: We're sort of alike.

    Me: We're not alike.

    Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!

    My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!

    I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Atch.

    Atch who?

    Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?

    These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.

    Boy: Spell ME.

    Girl: M-E.

    Boy: You forgot the D.

    Girl: There is no D in ME.

    Boy: Not yet.

    I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.