Regulation jokes

If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?

Because every manhole needs a cover.

A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something good.

How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?

Gun control...

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!

Got fired from the bank yesterday.

They caught me drinking on the job.

Why is suicide illegal?

Because it destroys government property.

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.

Guns control.

Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."

Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

The three unwritten rules of life:

1. 2. 3.