What do orphans not see on controller- home button
Whats the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
What do emos use as birth control? Their personalities!
me and my friend roasting each other, friend: you look like a baboon, me: stop talkin you look likea gorilla so i might call animal control on you and ill be seeing you at the zoo!
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)
my friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why are the local animal control at my door
me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control? An edgelord
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
Suicide is population control, repuplished
Murder:wanna play a game? me:ok (pulls out xbox controller)
gaming with the gaming controller
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don't have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You're right it's very nice but i'have one thing that you don't have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don't have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I'm rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I'm rich.Why you have something that I don't have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend. So she invites him to a romantic dinner. After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it. But her boyfriend was clueless about such acts. So she tell him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 positions. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same. But the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly the girl had an urge to fart, but hold it in because her asshole was right near his bf face. Suddenly she loses control, and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says
"Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
You don't need brains to be a Boss. When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
