Construction jokes
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack!
Memes
What goes up and down and does not move?
Stairs.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
That dam looks damn cool!
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.
Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
I said to the fish, "I have dam."
Why can't orphans play House Flipper?
'Cause they don't know what to do.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.