Construction jokes
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
What goes up and down and does not move?
Stairs.
Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack!
Bob the builder.
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
That dam looks damn cool!
The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.
Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
I said to the fish, "I have dam."
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
Why can't orphans play House Flipper?
'Cause they don't know what to do.