Comparison jokes

Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.

Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.

What's the difference between a dick and a rock?

One's hard.

What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?

Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.

Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!

What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?

A different sized elephant.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.

Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.

Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"

Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."

Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.

What do you say to a bully?

I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!

"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."

What did the zero say to the eight?

"Nice belt!"

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

I like my women like I like my diving pool:

Deep and wet.

What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?

Nothing, they're both dead.

That is so bad, just like you.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

Mariah Carey is a more legit rapper than rapboat.

"Rapeboat" makes Elton John seem straight.