Comparison jokes

Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!

What do you say to a bully?

I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!

"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."

What did the zero say to the eight?

"Nice belt!"

I like my women like I like my diving pool:

Deep and wet.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?

Nothing, they're both dead.

What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

About 140 calories.

Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?

A. The Jello has a higher IQ.

Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.

When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."

What's longer than a penis?

About anything.

Why did the octopus cry?

Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.

What is the difference between a human and a burger?

What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?

Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.

My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.

My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."

Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!

Yo forehead is bigger than the Great Wall of China!

If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.

"Rapeboat" so fat it made yo momma look thin.

What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?

I don't know, what?

They are both purple except for the elephant.