Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.
Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.
Your mama's so fat that she's bigger than the Titanic.
Yo hairline is bigger than yo mama's booty.
Memes
Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
What do you say to a bully?
I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
What did the zero say to the eight?
"Nice belt!"
I like my women like I like my diving pool:
Deep and wet.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
What is the difference between a human and a burger?