Comparison jokes
I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.
Ku cina Na xidludla swifana no push refrigerator. 😂😂
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.