Comparison jokes
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Michael Jackson is like if a Barbie doll and Bruno Mars had an ugly child together!
I'm jk btw Michael Jackson was amazing!
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
What does a pickle look like a p*nis?
Your hairline is so far back Trump was ashamed.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀