Comparison jokes

There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.

At least Stephen Hawking does something.

Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.

What number is better; 46 or 47?

I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.

What does an apple and a gay person have in common?

Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

What is the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One of them is wanted.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.

What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?

Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

How do you know someone has Down syndrome?

They're doing better than you.

Your butt is bigger than Uranus!

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.

Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.

Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!

Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.

Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.

Your leg is straighter than James Charles.

Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"