Comparison jokes

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!

People are like trees...

They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.

At least Stephen Hawking does something.

Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.

What number is better; 46 or 47?

I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.

What does an apple and a gay person have in common?

Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.

Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.

You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.

What is the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One of them is wanted.

What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.

What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?

Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

Your butt is bigger than Uranus!

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

What's the difference between Monday and a dick?

They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?

There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!