Comparison jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
Memes
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.