Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.