Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
When we talk of our X, some people talk of their XXX. 🤣
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
The twin towers were like my parents... They never came back.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
Your hairline be lookin' like my negative bank account balance -1,000,000.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.