Comparison jokes
Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"