Comparison jokes
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?
I like my women like my cigars: smuggled in from Cuba in a sack.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
You look like a burger.