Comparison jokes
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet? Beets stain your teeth.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
Walking is just running with extra steps.
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU