Comparison jokes
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.