Comparison jokes
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.
Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.