Comparison jokes
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
I like my women how I like my wine. 14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
What does a pickle look like a p*nis?
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.