Comparison jokes
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
Your forehead is so big that Mastermind thought you were his long lost brother!
Bro, your head is so big that it shines so bright, it turns into a lightbulb.
Girl, you and slow are slower than a fairness.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.