Company jokes

Why does NASA only serve Coke?

Because they can't get Seven-Up!

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.

She: Why?

He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)

A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"

Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.

If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.

P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.

Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:

Kleenex

Depends

Bicycle Helmet manufacturers

Velcro Shoe manufacturers

Steven Hawkings Publishers

Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?

A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.

After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”

“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.

T-Series.

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."

Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."

Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Two's company, cheese a crowd!

What did the watch say to the failing watch company?

"You better watch it!"

I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.