Company jokes
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
Can anyone talk with me? Bored...
Did you know there’s a sex move called Amazon?
You wait all day and nobody comes.
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)