Common jokes
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?
They both have very little air to breathe.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
What do George Floyd and Jordan Neely have in common?
Both can't breathe.
What do Jews and Black people have in common?
Living off welfare checks.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.