Common jokes

What do spiders and Black people have in common?

When they’re black, they kill you.

We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

What do nail polish and panties have in common?

Both come off with alcohol.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?

They both get smoked in bowls.

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

What do royals and hot dogs have in common?

They're usually in bread.

What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.

What do pigs and ink have in common?

They both go in a pen.

What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?

An.

We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.

Why don't some people like pennies?

Because it's common cents.

What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.

What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?

They sync properly.

What do Black people and chains have in common? Both work better with chains on them?