Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
Build a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. Give him some Tfox merch, and he will be on fire.
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.
Yo mama so stupid, she asks for the restroom on Amazon.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
