Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
When do you go to the store?
UVUALA!!!!!
Cyber Monday
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
I keep getting ads about belly fat.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
