Commerce jokes

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."

Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?

To the retail store.

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

When was the first Black Friday?

1619.

Why did the zebra cross the road?

Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

Where do Sith get their clothes?

At the Darth Maul!

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.

Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?

Why?

So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.

I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.

He one day said his business was "remarkable."

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"

What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.

It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.

Someone asked me where to find de wae?

I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.

So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.

Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.

Hey Jonny, you can buy a...

Pun o' chips at the store!

I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.

Build a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. Give him some Tfox merch, and he will be on fire.