A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
