Comedy jokes
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
Memes
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.
I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?