What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Why?
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
Wow, no SP jokes?
Orphans got me like: 😂
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ya.
Ya who?
Yahooooo!!!
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
