Comedy jokes
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Dark humor is like water.
Some people get it, others don't.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
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There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
Hahahahahahah I'm dying.
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards". It is cool.
What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.