Comedy jokes
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.
I hate my wife.
*cue laugh*
Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans? What did they ever do to you?
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
How Jupiter was discovered.
Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.
Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!
Wanna know something funny?
Me, because I'm funny looking.
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!
#HOMIEZ4Life
P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)
Hahahahahahah I'm dying.
Why the actual f
is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!