Comedy

Comedy jokes

Bread

What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?

They become in-bread.

Leprechaun

Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.

Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”

Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”

Fatty

Fatty and Skinny sitting in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.

Wheel

Why is the wheel the best invention?

Because it's wheely wheely great!

Dinosaur

1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed!

4. What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield!

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

Cunt

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

Orphan

Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?

'Cause he's dead like their parents!

Core

To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.

Mime

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

Sister

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

Shooting

Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃

Toilet Paper

What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?

"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭

Fire

What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?

Christopher Reeves in a house fire.